Myths Debunked: Misconceptions About Couples Therapy

couples therapy

The stigma behind couples therapy may make it seem like something you shouldn’t try, but it’s worth looking at the evidence to know that it works and can help your relationship.

MYTH #1: The Therapist Will Take Sides

There’s a lot of concern with couples therapy where one partner might feel that the therapist is more partial to the other partner. Rest assured, the therapist will never take sides. The therapist is there to help both parties reach a greater understanding of the relationship and deepen empathy for one another.

Couples therapy is a collaborative process that involves both parties, and they both must be willing to participate to see progress. If one partner or another isn’t willing to participate in the process, it’s unlikely they’ll see real change.

MYTH #2: Seeing a Couples Therapist Leads to Divorce

Nothing could be further from the truth! In the same way that you wouldn’t seek help from a doctor if you thought you had a deadly illness, you shouldn’t avoid couples therapy if your relationship is rocky. It’s best to get help earlier rather than later in the process if you want to save your relationship. In reality, most couples who seek out couples therapy do so to improve their relationship.

MYTH #3: Couples Therapy Is For Couples Who Can’t Solve Their Own Problems

This is the biggest myth about couples therapy, and it could not be farther from the truth. Couples who see a couples therapist often feel that the therapist gives them something they can’t get on their own. The therapist takes a neutral position in the relationship and helps both parties look at their issues as separate people.

Couples therapy can help couples:

  • Examine their own issues and personal triggers without having to worry about how the other person will respond
  • Try out new tools and skills without having to worry about how the other person will respond
  • Discuss sensitive issues in a non-threatening environment
  • Explore broader relationship concerns in a non-threatening environment

MYTH #4: Couples Therapy Is All About Digging Up Past Issues

This is another misconception about couples therapy. While we often focus on past stressors and triggers in the relationship, it’s never done with the intent of bringing up painful past experiences or dredging up negative feelings. Rather, the focus of couples therapy is to help couples learn to deal with these issues and triggers.

In many couples, there are many issues from the past that can contribute to the current issues. However, couples therapy isn’t all about working through the past. It’s also about the future. 

MYTH #5: Couples Therapy Is Too Expensive

Couples therapy can be expensive, but other less expensive options still offer the same benefits as a regular couples’ therapist. For example, you can search for couples therapy online or even find a therapist who works with a sliding scale. The bottom line is that you want to make sure you’re getting good service for a price that you feel good about.


The biggest barrier to couples therapy is often one or both partners having misgivings about it. However, if you’re struggling in your relationship, it’s likely worth it to move forward with couples therapy, even if you’re hesitant. As long as you go into it with an open mind, you’re likely to find the benefits of couples therapy are worth sticking out.

Psychotherapy offers a non‑judgemental space to process your pain. Our therapists at Chettiar Counselling and Associates provide support for managing anxiety, depression, anger management, addiction counselling, relationship issues, parenting support, separation and divorce, fertility challenges, grief and loss, trauma recovery, eating disorders and gaming addiction. We recognize that finding a therapist that fits your needs can be challenging. We offer a no-cost phone consultation to help you determine if the counselling services we provide will be a good fit for you. If you and your partner are seeking for couples counselling in Cambridge, we can help. Get in touch with us and let’s talk!