Leaving a Narcissist: How to Get through a Tough Situation

Narcissists are notoriously difficult to relationships with. They are often described as selfish, self-absorbed, demanding, and difficult to please. If you are married to or dating a narcissist, you may have wondered if there is any hope for the relationship.

Signs You Are Married to a Narcissist

Are you married to a narcissist? If you suspect you might be, it’s important to be on the lookout for some key signs. Here are some signs that you might be married to a narcissist:

1. They Are Always Right

If your spouse always has to be right, it’s a sign that they are a narcissist. They need to feel like they are in control; the only way to do that is by always being right. This can be extremely frustrating because you can never disagree without it turning into a full-blown argument.

2. They Are Always the Center of Attention

Narcissists need to feel like they are the most important person in the room and will do whatever it takes to ensure that they are the center of attention. This can be extremely frustrating for you because you are always playing second fiddle to them.

3. They Are Always Trying to One-up You

The idea of “one-upping” someone is that they will want to remind you that they are better than you and will always try to find ways to ensure they are one step ahead of you. This can be extremely frustrating because it feels like you can never win.

4. They Are Always Putting You Down

This can come in varying degrees, be it scolding you extremely for a minor mistake or making comments about your personality, hobbies, talents, and even physical appearance. This can be extremely hurtful and can make you feel like you are worthless.

5. They Are Always Trying to Control You

Victims may not realize they are being controlled, but it could come in different ways, such as isolation, deciding how to dress or wear their hair, etc. While they often disguise this as wanting what is best for you, it can be extremely frustrating and make you feel like you are a puppet on a string.

Tips on Separating or Divorcing with a Narcissist

Separating or divorcing a narcissist can be a difficult and emotionally draining process. It is important to remember that a narcissist can be manipulative, controlling, and have a lack of empathy for the feelings of others. Here are some tips to help you navigate through a divorce or separation with a narcissist:

1. Set Boundaries

It is important to set clear boundaries with a narcissist and consistently enforce them. Make sure to communicate your boundaries clearly and consistently. This will help you stay in control of the situation and keep the narcissist from manipulating you.

2. Document Everything

Narcissists can be manipulative and crafty. Make sure to document everything, including emails, text messages, and other communication forms. This can help prove your case if the narcissist tries to manipulate a situation.

3. Seek Professional Help

If you are feeling overwhelmed and struggling to cope with the situation, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can help you work through your emotions and provide support.

4. Seek Legal Help

If the narcissist is engaging in behaviour that is illegal or violates your rights, it is important to seek legal help. A lawyer can help you understand your rights and protect you from further harm.

5. Get Support

It is important to have a support system when going through a divorce or separation. Talk to family, friends, or a support group to help you navigate this difficult time.


Divorcing a narcissist can be an incredibly difficult and stressful experience. It is important to understand the narcissistic personality, the tactics they use to control and manipulate, and the strategies for coping with narcissistic behaviour. It is also essential to reach out to family, friends, and professionals for support and understanding. Lastly, it is important to remember that you are not alone and that you can and will get through this difficult time.

If you need separation counselling in Guelph, you can visit us at Chettiar Counselling & Associates. We offer a safe space wherein we help you process your emotions and deal with your tough situations. Get in touch with us to book an appointment today!