Are You Married to a Narcissist? Here Are Signs You Might Be

Like any other couple in the world, the relationship you have now most likely started on a high note and felt like it was nothing but pure magic and unforgettable experiences.

Although there were many challenges through the various stages of your relationship, the bond that you shared with your partner was strong enough to prepare you for the idea of marriage. You both felt that you were finally with your dream partner, and it only seemed right to tie the knot and live a lifelong commitment together.

But a few years (or decades) down the line proved otherwise as you face relationship problems that have led you to think that you may have married a narcissist. Unfortunately, this makes for the worst surprise that many couples face and can eventually threaten the whole foundation of their marriage.

Forms of Narcissism to Watch Out For

Narcissism in marriages is, sadly, a more common problem than people think. It can also be very serious and difficult to navigate. If your partner begins to show a new side of them that is taking a toll on your mental health, then you’re most likely dealing with this problem. And while many would like to pass off bad habits and other negative personality traits in their partners as the effect of an adjustment period, this rarely seems to be the case.

In any union or commitment, narcissistic tendencies can make a victimized partner’s experience much more complicated. Should you find yourself in such a predicament but aren’t sure if it’s a personality problem causing everything to crumble, there are key manifestations to watch out for:

1. They’re in Competition with You over Your Children

While playful banter over children and “who loves who more” may be normal for most married couples, it’s an entirely different situation when a parent makes it a point to compete with their children for attention.

Generally, spouses that exhibit narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) forego the common mindset that kids come first. Instead, they view children as people they have to compete with to be the center of attention. If your spouse actively seeks ways to keep your focus and attention on them rather than your kids, then it’s likely that they’re dealing with a case of NPD that must be fixed.

2. They Strive for Complete Control

Another mark of a narcissistic spouse is a tendency to seek and thrive off the power that comes from the feeling of being in complete control—which results in them trying to manipulate a victimized partner’s life.

A partner with NPD may try to attain and maintain control by using subtle manipulative behaviours like gaslighting or using sweet gestures and words as a means to make their spouse vulnerable. In more severe cases, however, narcissistic spouses will act out of desperation and start using guilt as a tool to control actions, thoughts, and feelings. 

3. They Are Extremely Jealous

One of the most common examples of narcissistic personality disorder in a marriage is when one spouse grows extremely jealous over their partner.

Acting on secret feelings of insecurity and the need to be the center of attention, a narcissistic spouse will act out by maintaining a severe degree of possessiveness. Unfortunately, this type of jealousy associated with NPD can prove dangerous as it can develop into abusive tendencies.

For these reasons and more, it is crucial to seek the help of a relationship and psychology expert like Chettiar Counselling & Associates ASAP.

Conclusion

While marriages start in the sweetest way possible, things can take a turn for the worse if a spouse begins to exhibit signs and manifestations of a narcissistic personality disorder. By watching out for the key signs mentioned above, you can best gauge your current situation, act faster, and seek help right away before things get worse.

Are you a resident of the Guelph, Kitchener, Waterloo, or Cambridge areas that are suffering at the hands of a narcissistic partner? Reach out for couples counselling today.