It’s hard to deal with a narcissist. Whether you’re dating one or simply interacting with one in your workplace or friend group, it can be difficult to even realize the problem because they are pros and deflecting blame.
Make sure you become privy to their manipulative tactics by recognizing the textbook signs of a narcissist.
They Display Delusional Views About Themselves and Their Actions
Narcissists believe themselves to be free of fault, so anything that goes against the view disrupts the fantasy. They tend to develop delusional tendencies in order to continue on without recognizing their own disruptive behaviour.
They will often view situations from a lens that is very different from what actually transpired in reality. You will even find that they tell themselves and others stories that fit their narrative even if this contradicts the truth.
They Project Blame and Negativity on Others
They will not understand opposing opinions, especially if it’s in direct criticism of them. Blame will always be deflected to other people.
On top of that, any negative emotion that stems from within them will be projected onto others. For instance, they will often accuse others of illicit actions or feelings that they themselves are actually the ones feeling. This projection takes away the blame from them and recreates the narrative.
They Lie About and Deny Any Accusations
Denial is a big part of narcissistic behaviour. In turn, they will actively lie about events, contexts, and their own objectives. While denial is simply a lie to themselves, their denial is about lying to everyone else.
In this process, will deny any accusation against them or any story that paints them in a negative light. Narcissists will lie about things to self-validate as opposed to simply trying to find actual solutions. They will even lie with the sole purpose of trying to get people to affirm their delusional beliefs and narratives.
They Only Highlight Their Side of The Story
Part of the narcissistic narrative is how it’s framed. Only their side is considered important, and all others are either ignored or painted as the villain. They will use language that specifically showcases them as the hero or victim, and always frame situations in a way that justifies their own behaviour.
This is what enables them to take on defensive stances that don’t take into account why anyone is opposing them in the first place. For example, calling out a narcissist for their pattern of toxicity may result in them accusing you of bullying them and even turning the tables on you.
They Try to Turn Others Against You
In order to build themselves up and secure their narrative, a narcissist will find ways to turn people against someone else. If you are in close contact with or directly involved with a narcissist, they may project this onto you and slander you. This is because you would be a risk for revealing the truth, and their instinct is to make you out as an unreliable source.
They’ll also find ways to make you turn on yourself. It’s important to take hold of your own narrative and learn how to overcome stonewalling so you can defend yourself against false information. It’s also important not to fall into their trap of manipulation and remember the truth in events.
If you realize you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s time to create boundaries that keep you free from their toxicity. If the person in question is someone close to you, you can consider therapy to deal with it.
That said, it should be noted that a narcissist will not accept that they have flaws even if it’s said with good intentions. It’s worse in relationships because of their tendency to be abusive and manipulative. In this case, you want to figure out how you remove yourself from that situation so that you are not looped back in.
It’s important to find a safe space where you can recover from long-term manipulation and learn how to identify problematic behaviours. Chettiar Counselling & Associates offers a non-judgmental resource with therapists ready to manage anxiety, relationship issues, trauma, anger management, depression, and more through counselling. Reach out now for a no-cost phone consultation that can help you figure out what treatment can best help you among our counselling services in Cambridge, Ontario.