5 Signs a Person May Have Covert Narcissism

Most of us have encountered the word “narcissist” to describe a self-centred person who vastly inflates their own importance to the point where it’s unreasonable. They feel superior to others and feel an excessive need for admiration and approval. This type of individual also has trouble recognizing and feeling other people’s needs, often using tactics like manipulation to get ahead. These characteristics are typically seen in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder is a relatively rare mental condition that begins in early adulthood. Often, people who have NPD show a pattern of arrogant, envious, entitled, haughty, and exploitative behaviours that are out of touch with reality. They tend to show these characteristics in various contexts, such as always highlighting themselves in conversations or only associating with persons they feel are special or high-status.

NPD is a complex disorder that only a qualified and experienced therapist can identify, although their traits are usually apparent in how they deal with others. Moreover, there is another form of this condition that may show more subtle signs, and it’s called covert narcissism.

Covert narcissism is not as “loud” as classic NPD. They may show traits like humility or shyness but otherwise show signs of narcissism. Here are some signs that a person may have this condition:

1 - Holding Grudges

Those who have covert narcissism may hold grudges when someone treats them unfairly or receives the recognition they feel entitled to. As a result, they may attempt to put the other person down or plot revenge. They may sabotage the other person’s work, say mocking remarks in the guise of a joke, or start rumours about them.

2 - An Extreme Sensitivity to Criticism and Defeat

Although an inflated sense of self-importance is a common trait for people with NPD, almost all individuals with this condition have deep insecurities and a fragile self-esteem. These characteristics may present themselves as a high sensitivity to criticism or defeat.

Of course, not all of us take well to criticism and defeat, but people with covert narcissism feel especially humiliated or enraged even upon receiving constructive criticism. They may act like they are above the criticism or blame it on others.

3 - Excessive Envy

Persons with NPD feel envious of the accomplishments, power, status, or possessions of others. They may express bitterness or passive-aggressiveness towards the people they envy. Moreover, they also believe that other people envy them because they are superior.

4 - Passive Self-Importance

People with covert narcissism are not overtly arrogant—they try to act modest and put their achievements down in the hopes that others will show admiration towards them. They crave reassurance and compliments but will often not be upfront about it.

5 - Depression, Anxiety, or Other Mental Conditions

NPD often does not act alone—people who have this condition may experience depression, anxiety, or other disorders due to sustained feelings of humiliation and self-criticism. They may withdraw from social situations and avoid taking risks when there is a chance of failing. Feelings of inadequacy, emptiness, and suicidal ideations are also common in NPD.

Seek the Help of a Therapist in Guelph

Narcissistic personality disorder is incredibly complex, and it takes a qualified mental health professional to fully diagnose a person with this condition. Covert narcissism is even more challenging to detect, as it shows more subtle characteristics that may unknowingly put a strain on a person’s relationships. If you suspect that you or a loved one has this illness, it’s best to seek help and learn how to manage its signs and symptoms.

If you’re looking for counselling services near Guelph University, Chettiar Counselling & Associates is here to assist you. We’ll provide you with a safe, non-judgmental environment and give you the support you need. We also offer a no-cost phone consultation to let you determine if our services are right for you. We’re here to help—book an appointment today.