Childhood. The very word draws up the images of security, joy, optimism and wonder. In childhood, you are safe—protected by your family and loved. You have stability in knowing that you are protected. That security allows you to build solid and secure relationships later in life. That is the ideal of childhood. But the reality of many children is starkly different from this ideal picture.
There are many possible causes of childhood trauma. They include:
Parents who are emotionally or psychologically abusive to their children intend to cause the children pain or fear. They harm the child's mental health by:
If any of the above abuses occur, it does not necessarily make you traumatized or emotionally damaged. Instead, it will depend on how the abuse became normalized in your life.
If the abuse is ongoing and you do not have a safe place to escape, it will highly likely damage you. One way to tell is how you comprehend the world. Are you a forgiving person?
How someone thinks about the world profoundly affects how that person responds to the world. For example, if you were a physically abused child, you might see the world as an unsafe place. You might think that you have to fight to stay safe. This belief further justifies the abuse that you suffered.
In other words, the abuse has trained you to see yourself as a victim. It has also trained you to see the world as unsafe. You might have spent your life fighting and resisting those who would maltreat you. You might have spent a lot of time defending yourself against those better off than you.
If you have an adult attachment disorder, you are far more likely to have been abused as a child. You have a much greater risk of being sexually abused, emotionally abused and emotionally or physically neglected.
Being emotionally or physically neglected is one of the most common causes of childhood trauma. Adults with this type of childhood trauma are more prone to:
Childhood trauma can have a devastating effect on your sense of well-being, stability, and relationships. The trauma can create shame, which can further develop even more trauma. If a person was sexually abused as a child and is ashamed of it, they may attempt to hide the abuse. But because they are ashamed, they are likely to take it out on others. They may even become abusers themselves.
In addition, being abused by a parent has a profound impact on your sense of self-worth. If a parent abuses you, it's often tough to believe that you deserve to be loved. You may have difficulty developing healthy relationships. You might have difficulty asking for what you need or want. You might try to get off of your needs and wants. You may have a hard time being assertive.
If you have an adult attachment disorder, you are more likely to have suffered from childhood trauma. If you have an attachment disorder, you must work on healing the trauma. It's also important that you identify the connection between your childhood trauma and adult attachment disorder. If you can see the link, it's easier to begin to heal the trauma and release the adult attachment disorder.
Our therapists at Chettiar Counselling and Associates provide support for managing anxiety, depression, anger management, addiction counselling, relationship issues, parenting support, separation and divorce, fertility challenges, grief and loss, trauma recovery, eating disorders and gaming addiction. We offer a no-cost phone consultation to help you determine if the counselling services we provide will be a good fit for you. If you are looking for trauma counselling in Guelph, we can help. Get in touch with us and let’s talk!
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