Counselling for Relationship Issues
Couples counselling can be helpful for fostering healthy relationships. Ideally, our intimate relationships are “supposed” to be full of peace, joy, tranquility, and serenity. Many people would like to be in a relationship that is filled with passion. However, it is a fact that relationships are not always a bed of roses. There are times when the emotional roller-coaster ride that we experience with our intimate partners can prove to be too much.
If you are finding yourself arguing and fighting more often with your partner, then the emotional challenges that come with this has likely left you feeling drained. Your relationship dynamics may have changed over the years. Your sex life may have been equally affected and you may not be excited at the thought of each other. The sweet and cherished memories you had together may have been replaced by painful wounds.
At times we can get caught up in patterns that can negatively impact our relationships without us even realising it.
Below are the four main themes identified by Dr. John Gottman, a psychological researcher focused on intimate relationships.
- Defensiveness - Playing the victim, blaming the other person, and not taking responsibility are all examples of defensiveness.
- Criticism - Criticism often can cause a partner to become defensive or it can even start an argument. Attacking your partner’s character, saying ‘you always’ or ‘you never’, using ‘you statements’ instead of ‘I statements’ are all examples of how criticism can lure it’s ugly head.
- Stonewalling - Shutting down, acting busy and tuning their partner out are some examples of stonewalling.
- Contempt - Contempt is said to be the most complex and negative of the horsemen. Rolling eyes, feeling or acting superior and name calling or mocking are examples of contempt.
How Couples Counselling can help your Relationship?
Marriage counselling is tailored to meet the needs of each couple. Whether it is as simple as a communication breakdown, or any other intricate issues, professional counselling can be helpful for rebuilding your connection with your partner. A counselling approach that tends to be helpful with couples is Emotion-Focused Therapy. In this approach, the counselor supports both partners to recognize the underlying intentions and emotions of each partner. The therapist then guides the partners to notice the negative interactional patterns and helps them create positive interactional patterns.
If you or a loved one is having trouble with relationships, get in touch with us right away to know how we can help.